No Parties in the Genie

New! not

2012-02-04T20:54:00.001-08:00

http://nopartiesinthegenie.blogspot.com/2009/01/summer-stock.html

One Year Done

2011-07-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a while since I've revisited this blog. I guess grad school will do that to you!

I've finished year one of my MFA, and it was incredibly busy, incredibly difficult, and incredibly fun all at the same time. The fun I owe to my classmates and colleagues, who are some of the raddest people ever. The difficulty- well, going back to school after five or six years off isn't the easiest thing in the world. Also, some classes are just really demanding. But I feel I've learned a lot (and still have a loooong way to go). I'm moving to a new house in New Haven for next semester, and it's a bit closer to campus and a bit further from the halfway house and pawn shop, which is nice.

Spring semester, I greatly enjoyed my rigging class. I had been trained in rigging by a variety of TDs and electricians who just happened to be around wherever I was working, and I knew based on differing opinions and practices that there was a lot of misinformation out there. I always wondered about the systems in some of the theaters I worked in. Now I may not have everything memorized, but I do know where to turn for information, and I feel that anything I rig is going to be as safe as I can make it. And I can also analyze a pre-existing system for flaws fairly accurately.

Structures got easier second semester, perhaps just because I got into a groove and had less of a struggle finding time for the homework. But also because I knew more about what to expect on tests. I genuinely enjoy doing structures, even if it is a pain in the ass. Learning it has made me feel somewhat accomplished.

I ATD'ed a show in the spring, and that was a really great experience compared to my other production assignments. And somehow less stressful. Working with the staff carpenters was really cool- they are all very helpful, and very funny. I think my drafting improved greatly on that show, and I started to understand what it's like not to be so hands-on (like when you have a union crew). Not sure I like being hands-off, but I'm understanding it better at least.

This summer, it was quite difficult for a lot of my classmates to find summer work, and I was no exception. I think in my case, it's just because I wasn't willing to do summer stock again. I managed to find a partial-summer internship with an events production company, which had me working on all manner of crazy things. And now I'm freelancing for the rest of my time in NYC until school starts back up.

Holy hell, batman!

2010-12-19T01:42:00.001-08:00

So here I am, at 5am the last day of first semester here at YSD.

I survived- barely. I had a great time, made lots of friends, and nearly had a mental breakdown during finals week.

So here's what's awesome:

-My classmates. It's gonna sound cheesy, but I fucking LOVE my classmates, and they are amazing people, and we have all gone through what feels like an epic battle together. The people here are generally incredible and awe-inspiring. So that's rad.

-Structural Design for the Stage. This class, though I might be failing it (we'll see), is pretty effing amazing, and taught with gusto. I had not taken a math class in ten years prior to this, and I'm still able to follow it for the most part. Not because its easy, but because it's just so well-taught.

-The Rep. Yale Repertory Theatre is one of the coolest buildings I've ever worked in. Not because there aren't dangerous beams at nose height in the grid, but because when you're in the grid, you are surrounded by all this crazy church architecture. Pretty sweet.

-I've probably learned more in one semester here than I did in all of undergrad. It's intense, but I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it, which is great. I came in never having opened AutoCAD, and have now drafted nearly an entire set. It may not be *great* drafting, but I'm doing it. I can tell you how much a 5/4 pine stick of any width can safely span with almost any variety of loading condition. I can accurately mill steel to a thousandth of an inch (well, on a good day).

Here's what's been difficult:

-Not having time to cook a single meal for myself all semester.

-Spending too much money on fast-food type places because I have no time to cook.

-Pulling two to three all-nighters a week and still not getting caught up.

-Production assignment during finals week.

-Not being able to leave New Haven, even for half a day, ever.

-Chicken pillow.

My email to Selecon

2010-05-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working at a theater with Selecon fixtures for the past few years, and I’m writing to offer some criticism and suggestions.

We have Selecon Pacific zooms and 7” Rama fresnels.

The zooms have a great output and a great cooling system, but are unwieldy and tend to fall apart. The red or blue plastic pieces on the endcaps tend to be mistaken for handles by people used to working with Source Fours and Altmans, and are often picked up by these non-handles and broken, resulting in a lot of not-so-safe black-tacked endcaps in the grid. The end caps are also difficult to seat correctly for someone not accustomed to them (and most technicians in NYC are not accustomed to them). The gel clips are unnecessarily difficult, and the shutters fall out and will not go back in. Most of our zooms have only 3 shutters at this point. Granted, they are about 10 years old, but we have 30-year-old Altmans that are easier to repair. The focus knobs on the side get really tight sometimes and can cause hand injuries when they are finally loosened. I think this is due to the shape, where one side is longer than the other.

Our Rama fresnels are new as of last summer, and already metal pieces are falling off of them (usually breaking off of the dials) without provocation. We don’t use the safety cables that came attached, because they are quicklink and not carabiner, which is simply annoying. The “quick-focus” attachments for these units are sitting in boxes collecting dust somewhere, because they were too difficult to attach, and made little sense when the rest of our units have traditional c-clamps and require wrenches anyway. Good idea in theory, but they just weren’t worth taking the time to figure out. If they had come pre-assembled, we may have been able to use them. Again, these have great output, but the only 1k lamps that work in them die after only 250 hours. We will be switching to 750w next season to save money, but it will be disappointing to have a system that is not as bright.

Nobody I know enjoys working with these units, and I think if you made changes to address these issues, you may find more buyers in the states. I know this is easier said than done, but I wanted to put in my two cents.

Musicians

2010-05-18T23:14:00.000-07:00

In the world of theater, things are generally scheduled tightly, due to budget constraints, time constraints, etc.

In the world of music, most gigs are quick, painless, and fun.

They don't sound so different, these two worlds. Yet- musicians expect to show up for a gig maybe half an hour prior (at the most), make sure the mics are working, and then play a show.

Theater technicians, however, expect to see musicians hours before a show, to check and re-check and re-check the re-checks of everything. And to program some light cues. Because running a show live off of an Express board with Altmans and Selecons just plain sucks.

Musicians- when you have a gig at a real theater, please show up on time. Technicians, when you have rock musicians coming in- expect them at least two hours late. If we all just think this way, then maybe something will meet halfway, somewhere. Yes?

Tech-Related News

2010-04-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Shure no longer repairs its old wireless mics, even though they CAN operate at an FCC-approved range. They also, oddly, backed the legislation (more money for them? New wireless mics with receivers can be $4,000 each.

There will be a Costume Symposium at NC School of the Arts in August (which, by the way, consistently cranks out some really talented technicians and designers). The focus of the event will be wig making and styling.

In the realm of awesome-looking European things that we will never have stateside, Frankfurt just hosted an event called "Luminale", with over 150 lighting installations, with a focus on eco-friendly low-energy lighting.

The ETCP technical certification exams will take place in June in Las Vegas. Register by May 7th, or wait till LDI in October. In related news, why the eff don't these conventions EVER come to NYC, which is pretty much the birthplace of American theatre?

At USITT this year, there was a special 50th anniversary exhibition on the history of lighting consoles.

Grad School

2010-04-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

In the Fall, I will be embarking on a new adventure: grad school.

I will be sad to leave NYC and to leave my full-time, kick-ass job with really great co-workers, but I am excited to begin the learning process all over again at Yale Drama, where I have been accepted into the Technical Design and Production department. I'll be focusing on technical direction, and learning all sorts of crazy awesome things from professors like John Huntington, Don Harvey, and Ben Sammler.

It's been a long time since I've been in classes, and I've never had the luxury of JUST going to school- I had a full-time job nearly the entire time I was in undergrad- so I'm looking forward to focusing on my training for the next 3 years.

The things I'm most excited for are the stage machinery/rigging and projection design courses. They all look really bad-ass. I'm also hoping to sneak my way into some playwriting stuff during my time there as well, as I am really into the creation of a production as a whole...and the fusion of production with playmaking, as seen in Big Art Group, Superamas, The Wooster Group, Radiohole, etc...
I'm also happy that I'll get a chance to learn more about sound design, as I am terrible at EQing and such...

I'm hoping to keep up this blog while I am at Yale- I'll have to check with the department to see how much information is okay to post-

It appears as though the work I'll be doing will be a lot safer and more regulated than what I am accustomed to- which is a welcome relief. Hard hats, harnesses, goggles, etc. I'm down with all of that in my old age.

But I will say- if you haven't checked out Yale, do. They have an amazing program, and their financial aid is effing incredible. Seriously.

And, to de-mystify the process of applying and interviewing for grad school in production- if anyone out there is reading and like me, could use the advice of someone who's been there: of course be prepared, be on time, etc. etc. But also- show them your personality, be honest, be as confident as you possibly can be. Honestly, I was a stuttering wreck through my whole interview with the dean. But apparently something I did worked.

I survived

2010-03-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

Made it through the massive load-in, now drinking a beer, trying to catch up on life.

In other news, I was recently asked to give an example of a time that a show tech went horribly awry. I explained to the asker that once, I worked on a show where not only did we break a neon light sculpture, but also all the transformers for the neon were busted (that week I learned more about transformers than I ever wanted to know), and there were motorized wheels whose motors couldn't handle the weight of the wheels, which pulled downward at a 45-degree angle. While we tried to fix these motors (for hours), a super-dramatic soundtrack played over the PA at full blast. There were also walls that were built to meet our 22-foot grid, and we had to chain up our fly pipes (which are just sandbag-to-ac cable-to pulleys) to accommodate that, and never quite got them back in working order again.

So let's hear some of your tech stories- describe a time when everything went wrong, and what you learned from it!

Next week...

2010-03-16T20:24:00.001-07:00

I'll be lighting a dance show with 7 choreographers on Monday morning and running it that night, and then I will be loading in a show with multiple rooms, a running shower, 12-16 video sources and an almost entire re-work of our rep plot. Apologies if new posts are slow to come!

Lady Gaga

2010-03-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

I was asked, yesterday, for my thoughts on Lady Gaga, after having called Cirque du Soleil "somewhat cheesy". Don't get me wrong- Cirque does some really amazing things, technically. I just have a hard time getting behind those mass-entertainment corporate types of things.

Now, Gaga is ALSO cheesy (if anyone on Project Runway ever made something approximating one of her costumes, the Klumster would would call it trashy and "just weird", and Michael Kors would come up with some snotty, musical-based critique that said the same). And she's also become a corporate establishment. But, unlike Cirque, the things that she does onstage are somehow unexpected. You KNOW when you go see a Cirque or Gaga show that you are going to be wowed. But when Gaga does it, it has that element of surprise, and it's sometimes darkly comedic. Like when she covered poor Elton John in soot at the Golden Globes. Or when she sings on crutches with a broken neck in her video for "Bad Romance"

She has shot fireworks out of her bra:
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Set her piano aflame while wearing glowing PVC pipes:

And met the Queen of England while dressed in a red vinyl sack:

I guess the thing I like about Lady Gaga the most is that so much of what she does is nonsensical, something my five-year-old self could have come up with, and my 27-year-old self still delights in. She's also giving us a female pop icon who's not about looking skinny and sexual and perfect all the time. All of this, and the woman makes some damn catchy music.

How much would I LOVE to make costumes for this woman...

Anybody out there working on her current tour? Tell us all how fucking amazing it is so we can be jealous...

Hatred #901

2010-03-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

We have an abundance of Altman endcaps at the theatre which do not work. Upon taking apart the connectors, all seems well with the world: correct wiring, no corroded copper, nothing crispy. Tracing the entire tail, having removed the sleeve, there are no crimps in the wires, or breaks. The ground is tacked in place where it should be. Which brings me to the inside of the cap, where the lamp housing lives. WHY must the wires be stuck under a riveted housing? Even if I DO manage to get that apart and repair the wiring, I will never get it back together, because I own neither a riveter nor the will to survive after repairing 15-some-odd endcaps.

Colbert mocks the sound editors

2010-03-09T17:34:00.001-08:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Best Foreign-Language Film Category

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Skate Expectations

Superbowl Half-time

2010-03-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've often wondered exactly how it's possible to put up those huge SuperBowl stages, with all their lights and projectors and pyrotechnics, etc. Now I know: with a fuckton of stagehands.

Fire Code Shenanigans

2010-01-20T17:21:00.001-08:00

Patrick over at Backstagejobs has a great article on how effing difficult it is to find information on theatre fire codes.

I've run into this problem myself on more than one occasion- in New York City, one would presumably go to the Mayor's Office of Film, Theatre and Broadcasting website to find out, for example, how many chairs can legally be put together in a row before an aisle interrupts them, or how many and what type of fire extinguishers should be on hand. One might also think that the FDNY site could be a good resource. Now, I know I've found *some* info online before, but I remember digging around for hours before finding out that every audience member must be no more than 7 seats away from an aisle (or was it 6?).

A logical stagehand might think that the city would put this information out there for fire-prevention at the many theaters here. Use a phone, you might say? I've tried that, too. The best I usually get as a response is "the dude who knows all that stuff is out today" or "call so-and-so and such-and-such-a-theater, he's great with all that".

The theater I work at is blessed with many a visit from the fire department, as standard procedure. They send an army of four or five men decked out in full fire gear, five minutes before a show to scare the bejeezus out of anyone waiting in the lobby. Then I have the dubious pleasure of showing them around, making sure to point out exit signs and fire extinguishers.

On one such visit, dude came with a clipboard and a list of questions. One question on his form was "thrust stage, proscenium, other?"
Dude turned to me and asked what a thrust stage was.

I'm not saying that your average fireman has to know what a thrust stage is, but one would hope that the team that is inspecting theatres for public safety might have to know.

Anywho. That's my rant of the day.

Facebook Love/More Job Postings

2010-01-20T16:56:00.000-08:00

Hey! I got a metric shit-ton of visitors from Facebook today! Thank you to whoever shared my link- brownie points to you, redeemable for two broken HPLs and a burnt-out stage pin cable!

In other news, some more cool jobs posted around the interwebs this week:

NOTE: I will not be posting Summer Stock Jobs, as I already have quite a comprehensive list of hiring theatres here.

On with the work!

Added Thursday: Bentley Meeker in NYC seeks lighting production manager

Production Assistant, touring Illusion Show (cue "The Final Countdown")
Rigger, Wynn Las Vegas
Trade Show Tech Manager/Driver, Touring
Stage Manager, NYC (stipend)
TV Production Asst., Seattle

Well, that's all I got. It's apparently a not-so-awesome week for job-hunting. Dear readers: what sorts of jobs do YOU have?

Golden Globes

2010-01-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

So, who watched the Golden Globes last night? Anyone? No? Okay, I'm not surprised; I wouldn't have watched it, either, except that my friends had a little shindig at their place, and I can't turn down a good time.

So. Lets' talk about all the ways in which the production could have been waaaay better.

1. Don't do an effing dinner service for the audience! It took eons for each winner to get to the stage, having to navigate through chairs and busboys. In the meantime, terrible music clips were played, which sometimes gave a bumbling-idiot feel to their inability to get through the crowd.

2. If you're going to have a host, let him host. Ricky Gervais was barely onstage at all, and most of the time was the most entertaining thing going on.

3. If you're gonna play someone off, don't pussy out. Do it, loud and clear. None of that slow....slow....fade-up of violins. And do it to EVERYONE, for fairness' sake. Yes, Meryl Streep is amazing, but she should know by now not to ramble at awards shows.

4. Wake up the follow-spot ops. Yeah, it's boring work, but when two hosts come up on stage, and only one has a spot on their way, that's weird.

5. I hate to say it, but would some musical acts have killed you? The format of award-award-award seems less sustainable to me than award - rock band - award. Sort of like a 15-minute union break every two hours. Breaks up the monotony.

6. Don't cut to a foreign dude (Schwarzenegger) for the foreign film category. He wasn't IN any of them!! So many awkward camera moments in this show.

Do YOU have any other gripes? Oh right: you didn't watch it.

Lighting Wall of Shame

2010-01-15T21:52:00.001-08:00

A new(ish) facebook group dedicated to showcasing lighting mishaps and stupidity. Enjoy.

Also, got some stupidity to share? Send me your ridiculous production photos!

Haiti Relief Efforts

2010-01-14T10:46:00.001-08:00

Yes, this is wildly off-topic. And you're probably sick of seeing it.

- Text "haiti" to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross for earthquake relief efforts.

- If you're on the fence about this, don't be. Hundreds of thousands in Haiti are seriously injured or dead. It's just $10. It'll go on your next cell phone bill, so you have a month to figure out how to afford it.

- Do NOT send packages. Just send money.

- There are two hoaxes floating around on Twitter. One is that American Airlines is flying docs and nurses to Haiti for free. The other is that UPS is giving free shipping to Haiti tomorrow. Neither are true. The main airport in Haiti has been shut down for lack of space and fuel.

-Let's not allow this to be another Katrina. It's bad enough already, as Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere.

Materials for the Arts and Shhhh Projects, NYC

2010-01-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't given a shout out to Materials for the Arts here yet. For those of you who live in, or are planning on moving to NYC, this place can be a trove of great free materials for your theatre pieces.

There are a few catches, but they're not so bad.

1. You must be involved in a 501c3 organization (a non-profit)
2. You must make an appointment to shop
3. You have a limited amount of time (I think it's 1.5 hours)
4. You must write (and provide proof of) thank-you letters to all the donors whose items you take.

MFTA is a huge warehouse of wonderful things, with a staff of (I believe) mostly volunteer workers. I myself found par sockets, RCA cables, video mixers and all sorts of other neat gadgets for the theatre I work at.

I'm shamefully ignorant of the goings-on of other cities- you folks out in Chicago and LA must have some similar types of resources, no?

Also, Janet Clancy, a wonderful, knowledgeable woman to work with and just a really cool person in general, started a salvage company, Shhhh Projects, a while back- which was profiled in the New York Times (they also got a really great shot of her atop a ladder draped in white fabric). Basically, for a small fee, she'll take unwanted arts materials (sometimes from all those Bryant park fashion shows), and then she'll dispose of them for you by delivering them to other artists in need. Cheaper and less wasteful than finding a way to trash the objects! A really great idea on her part. It's not a free service (she does need to make a living, after all!) but if you know of a film shoot or a theater set that's doomed to a scrap heap somewhere, it can't hurt to give her a call.

Great Books

2010-01-08T21:02:00.000-08:00

I just purchased "Technical Design Solutions for Theatre" on Amazon.com, and let me tell you, it is the nerdiest, bestest thing ever. From growing flowers onstage to creating a realistic TV-lighting effect, it covers some of the most specific things I've ever seen in a technical theatre how-to manual. There are two volumes, and probably more to come, from the Yale Drama department.

What about you? Favorite theatre books?

Prop Gun Deaths

2010-01-05T11:15:00.001-08:00

Speaking of the post below, here's a website detailing why you should always be super-careful with prop guns, regardless of type:

GUN DANGER, by PROPGUYS.COM

Most Popular Posts of 2009

2010-01-05T11:09:00.001-08:00

Here are the three posts that drive most of the traffic to this site. If you're a newbie, perhaps start with these.

The winner, by far: SUMMER STOCK JOBS

Like a train wreck: PROP GUN KILLS STUDENT

We loves us some YouTube: LAUGHABLE COLLEGE THEATRE ADS

Oh. Ugh. A Safety Story.

2010-01-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

This was posted over at Control Booth by MNicolai.

"A few years ago a guy was focusing lights from a one-man Genie. In a futile attempt to have an added safety measure, he wore a harness while in the lift, which he secured to the electrics he was focusing from. My guess is that his harness gave him a false sense of security and so he acted more dangerously while in the lift.

So with his false sense of security, this stagehand is leaning out of the bucket ([sarcasm]remember he's safer because of his harness[/sarcasm]) when the lift tips over. When the lift went over, his legs were caught in the bucket and both were snapped like toothpicks. As the lift came crashing down, he was suspended with his harness still, some 30' in the air gushing blood with what's left of his legs dangling, bones completely visible. A bad situation gone horribly worse, nobody had the key to operate the motorized winches supporting the electrics so it took some 5 minutes to get the key, meanwhile he's still bleeding out."

New (To Me) Blog Alert- One From The Road

2010-01-05T10:47:00.001-08:00

Hey there- so my lil' blog is sorely lacking not only in frequent posts, but also in audio information. Here's a cool blog with tips and tricks for clearcom, audio mixers, and other gear.

Also, I didnt know about this, but maybe they'll do it again in 2010. At John Jay college in NYC, they held a sort of audio conference/training day called Sound 411. Anyone got info on that?

Rigging News

2010-01-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

ETC gets into the rigging control business. Article here.

TourTek gets smart about cable management and truss design. (why are they the first to figure this one out? Because of these nifty connections ON THE TRUSS, the days of running hefty multi-cables will soon be over!

A Reminder...

2009-12-28T12:06:00.000-08:00

Summer stock jobs are opening up for '10. Go here for my listing of summer stock theaters around the US, and get those applications in!

This mic isn't working

2009-12-28T11:36:00.000-08:00

News

2009-12-28T11:07:00.001-08:00

While it sucks at making phone calls, the iPhone can do some pretty neat stuff for lighting designers.

The Times Square New Year's ball is an LED/crystal spectacle.

A stagehand falls 25 feet to his death in Florida.

The stagehands of The Joyce Theatre in NYC are now represented by IATSE Local One.

A device called AirScript is translating theatre for audiences in the UK.

The Signature Theatre of NYC will finally start building its new home.

NYC ups filming permit fees. In related news, Chelsea is still covered in Gossip Girl trailers on the daily.

A really unecessary new gaff product by LeMark.

Recent Job/Internship Postings of Note

2009-12-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

Costumers/Interns, NYC

Production Manager, Baryshnikov Arts Center, NYC

Multiple Positions, Des Moines Metro Opera (summer only)

Multiple Internship Opportunities, Olney MD (Earn points toward Equity Card!)

Multiple Positions, Chesterfield MO (summer only)

Lighting Technician FT, Ardsley NY

Lighting Director, FT, Atlanta GA

Multiple Positions, PT, Dayton OH

Multiple Positions Weston, VT (Summer only)

Multiple Positions, Utah Festival Opera (Summer only)

Equity SM, Hackettstown NJ

Multiple Positions, Fayetteville PA (Summer only)

Asst. Company Manager, Lion King US Tour

Lighting Supervisor, Pilobilus, Washington Depot CT

Way Behind the Times...

2009-12-28T10:38:00.000-08:00

Par Can to the Head - Play Her Off!

2009-05-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Anybody else notice...

2009-05-10T10:44:00.001-07:00

....the proliferation of fluorescents lately in scenic and lighting design?

Wazzupwidat?

Flickr Site for Techies

2009-05-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

Go here to share your backstage photos!

Recent shows...

2009-04-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

Recently, I went to see Exit the King" and God of Carnage on Broadway.

Here's some of the cooler technical stuff that occurred in these shows:

In God of Carnage, one of the four actors vomits onstage. Nobody is quite sure as to the mechanics of the vomit, as she was talking maybe 30 seconds before. Is it something stuffed up her sleeve? Is it something she eats or drinks casually after her preceding line? Whatever it is, it is the only surprise during the entire show.

In Exit the King, the scenery is made mostly of regal drapery that has lost its sheen. From the beginning of the show, noting the aircraft cable supporting said soft goods, I was wondering how (and when) they would be flown in or out. Being a technical person, I noticed the minute those things moved even slightly. However, my boyfriend didn't notice until they were nearly touching the ground, because they moved so slowly (during a fairly intense monologue by Susan Sarandon, who commands quite a bit of attention). I spent the whole time wondering whether some poor ($60/hr) stagehand's arms were getting tired.

The uncool technical stuff:

At the end of God of Carnage, which up until this time has been a fairly realistic endeavor, the red wall which composes most of the set changes color from to shades of blue (thanks to color scrollers, surely), veeeery slowly. The characters are left in this weird, abstract image, for no apparent reason, as the lights go down. It was one of the cheesiest lighting moments I have ever witnessed, and I've worked in community theatre. COME ON.

At the beginning of Exit the King, I nudged my boyfriend, pointing to the downlights in each aisle. "Oh no", I said, "They're coming into the audience!"
"No", he said, "You just think that because of The Onion article you read last week."
But then I saw a backlight and a frontlight as well! And sure enough, Geoffrey Rush broke the fucking fourth wall halfway through the show. And his makeup was horrifying up close. So boo to you, lighting designer, for not cleverly hiding those lights, boo to you, director, for letting Geoffrey Rush march down the aisles, and boo to you, makeup artist, for making Geoffrey Rush look so, so scary.

Meet Mr. Tippy

2009-04-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

It has been a damn long time...

2009-04-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

...since I've updated this thing. Here's some cool-looking gigs, culled from the web:

Scenic Designer/Lighting DesignerNew York, NY
Production Manager (summer only), New Canaan, CT
Scenic and Costume Teaching Artist (summer), New York NY
Head Draper/Cutter, North Easton MA
Asst. Professor of Production, Hartsville, SC
College Lab Technician for Digital Media, New York NY
TD, STREB Extreme Action Co, New York NY
Tech Floor Operator for TV, New York NY
Production Assistant for Major League Baseball, New York NY
Freelance Producer, HBO, New York NY

NYTimes article

2009-03-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

Backstage at The Lion King

More regular posts soon to come. It's been a busy busy time lately.

HD Makeup Design

2009-02-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

HD televisions are bringing actors' less-than-perfect skin into sharp focus. Here's a brief article on how makeup artists are adjusting their techniques.

What's Your Favorite?

2009-02-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

What's your favorite thing about working in theatre? Is it the physical labor? The creativity? The showtunes that never leave your head? The thanklessness?

Leave a comment, and I'll post an entry with all of your answers!

University of New Hampshire Technical Theatre

2009-02-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

A Shout-Out

2009-02-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

To my loyal (anonymous) readers in Sugar Land Texas, Logan Utah, Chino California, Oak Ridge Tennessee and of course New York New York!

Thanks for dropping by :)

MFAs in Lighting Design

2009-02-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

NOTE: THIS POST STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

Just like my summer stock list, I'm going to try to create a comprehensive listing here of graduate lighting design programs in the US. In future posts, I'll do costume/scenic/audio etc. If you have any to add or anything to say about the following programs, leave a comment!

Numbers after school names refer to how many years the program lasts, and starred schools are public, and therefore probably more affordable.

Alabama:
University of Alabama*, Tuscaloosa - 3
Arizona:
University of Arizona*, Tucson - 3
Arkansas:
University of Arkansas*, Fayetteville - 3
California:
University of California*, Irvine - 3
Cal Arts, Valencia - 3
Connecticut:
Yale Drama, New Haven - 3
University of Connecticut*, Storrs - 3
Florida:
University of Florida, Gainesville* - 3
Illinois:
Illinois State University* - 3
Northern Illinois University*, DeKalb - 3
Indiana:
Indiana University*, Bloomington - 3
Purdue University, West Lafayette - 3
Iowa:
University of Iowa*, Iowa City - 3
Louisiana:
Tulane University, New Orleans - 3
Maryland:
University of Maryland*, College Park - 3
Massachusetts:
University of Massachusetts*, Amherst - 3
Michigan:
Wayne State University*, Detroit Michigan - 3
Minnesota:
University of Minnesota*, Minneapolis - 3
Mississippi:
University of Southern Mississippi*, Hattiesburg - 3
New York:
Parsons, The New School, NYC - 2
Tisch, New York University, NYC - 3
Ohio:
College Conservatory of Music, Cincinnati Ohio - 2
Ohio University*, Athens - 3
Pennsylvania:
Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh - 3
Temple University*, Philadelphia - 3
South Carolina:
University of South Carolina*, Columbia - 3
South Dakota:
University of South Dakota*, Vermillion - 3 (Lighting AND Sound Concentration only)
Tennessee:
University of Tennessee*, Knoxville - 3
Texas:
University of Texas*, Austin - 3
Virginia:
University of Virginia*, Charlottesville - 3
Washington:
University of Washington*, Seattle - 3

Hatred # 881:

2009-02-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

Freakish Knots.

I try to work quickly, I honestly do. Theatre can be stressful, there's never enough time...

So when YOU enter the picture with your freakish-knot-tying hands, and my extreme nail-biting has resulted in a lack of claws to untie your freakish knots, it makes me want to die.

A clove hitch will tie most things to the grid quite nicely. Add a bow, if you like, to keep things pretty. DO NOT, do not do not do not- tie a knot like this:

Summer Stock Discussion

2009-02-15T15:41:00.001-08:00

Since most people coming to my blog from Google are searching for "summer stock", I thought I'd post some observations on my own experiences with the beast. I've worked at some really cool places, and some really lame ones. Here's what I can tell you:

1. Most theatres will work you 50+ hours per week for the entire summer for a flat fee, or for something in the neighborhood of $300/week. If you're an intern, you may work as many hours for free. If you need to make bank this summer, do not work summer stock. Unless it means you get to sublet your extortionist Williamsburg apartment and live rent-free for a few months.

2. Most theatres will put you up in student housing or an apartment, the quality of which will vary from mouse-infested shithole to cozy middle-class digs. If you're quite lucky, you'll have a room to yourself, and may be within walking distance of the venue. If not and you have no car, befriend a couple folks with cars really quickly. You don't have to love them, but you'll be needing their help to get out once in a while. You may not have laundry facilities or a working toilet. It gets dicey sometimes.

3. Most summer theatre companies become grossly incestuous really quickly. Think "The Real World" for people who are mostly lacking social skills. Put eight 20-something nerds together in a house, and...yuck. If you are a nerd looking to get laid this summer, then summer stock is the gig for you. If you have a strong gag reflex, look into temping or something instead.

4. Most summer stock gigs are an elaborate excuse for people to get trashed for a whole summer without worrying about maintaining any sort of reputation (see #3).

5. You can actually learn a lot from summer stock, especially if the venue employing you doesn't know what the hell it's doing. You may go through hell, but usually you'll come out of the whole experience with some new skills (see also #3). Some places actually have really great TD's and MEs and what-have-you, and you can learn a good deal from them too.

6. Use the opportunity to network. I know it's a terrible word, but "networking" is important, especially if you plan to be freelancing for a while. Theatre's a small world (I run into people I know in NYC all the time- in a city of 8 million + tourists, I see at least three people a week that I know from college, from summer stock, or from random gigs elsewhere).

That's about it for now. Who else has comments or tips for newbies?

Lame

2009-02-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

From TVTower.com:

"Almost all wireless mics operate on the same frequencies as TV stations. The TV stations are licensed by the FCC and are running at very high power levels. Virtually all wireless mics are not licensed, and must accept any interference they get from TV stations. For this reason, a wireless mic that works fine in one city, may not work in another."

Right...so we knew that already...but what's below is what sucks

"As new stations go on the air, your wireless mic may become useless. It is important to understand this, because every TV station in the country is getting a new frequency for digital TV broadcasting. Only some of these new transmitters are on the air yet, but in the {future], they should all be on the air. Check with all your local TV stations to determine what new channels have been assigned to them for digital broadcasting, and when they expect to be on the air. Most manufacturers can switch your existing wireless mics to different frequencies if needed. It would be wise to determine today if your existing mics will have problems so you can get them changed at your leisure, and not in a panic after they fail."

Oh Honey, No.

2009-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

Check out these hot duds from toolsforstagecraft.com.

Nothing spells "sexy" like a "collar cooler". Right, Lassie? Arf!

Also,

Tres chic.

Two Turntables and a Microphone

2009-02-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

So I saw some article somewhere about this place called DubSpot, and was thinking it would be really fun to learn to mix records/DJ/whatever. It's not all that expensive if it actually delivers all it promises, and could be lucrative if one became proficient. Anyone have experience with a place like this?

On another note, a techie friend of mine has (perhaps jokingly?) decided to weather the economic crisis by moving out of the city and learning to shear sheep. Apparently there's dire need for good sheep shearers. Another techie friend of mine has been laid off. Far more of my techie friends are finding themselves desperate for freelance work, and some are collecting unemployment. What are YOUR plans to get through the Great Depression '09?

Light Boards

2009-02-09T17:39:00.001-08:00

Hey all you readers out there! I need some advice on what type of lightboard to try for in our grant package at the theatre. I was wanting an Ion, but just heard some talk that it might not be so great. I would love an Obsession for its easy scroller and VL programming, but what boards do YOU love and why?

More Laughable College Theatre Ads

2009-02-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

CSB School of Design and Arts:

Pacific University:

School of Theatre at Illinois State University:

Captain Obvious quote: "What we're trying to do is the best theatre that we can"
I really enjoy the shot of the perfectly manicured hand sliding up a sound fader.

Technical theatre is actually a fairly interesting job. While I may not always enjoy work, I can honestly say that I am never bored (okay, maybe DURING a show, but...). How all of these ads make the profession sound horribly mundane is beyond me.

Previously in America's Lamest Home Videos:
MCC Tech Theatre and Delusions of Grandeur
Dibden Thearter Program: Blowing Minds in the Right Direction
James Lipton's wet dream
The fuck-nut advocate

Hatred # 7:

2009-02-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

Selecon Pacific Zooms.

You folks who have worked with me know what these are. For those of you lucky folks who work in a theatre renovated within the past 30 years, let me explain this beast. It's the shitty generic version of a Source Four Zoom, and made entirely of plastic. The quality of light it gives isn't bad. However, the fact that the shutters fall out on a whim, all the time, really sucks. As does the fact that the red part, while looking sort of like a handle, will cause the entire endcap to come off if you actually use it as a handle.

Now, when the shutters randomly fall out (and I've seen this happen during dress rehearsals and other times when least expected), you cannot put them back in without taking apart the entire instrument. You'd think, well it came OUT of that slot, so it should fit back IN, but no. These are Satan's tools, and they act accordingly.

As you can see from this image, the tilt knob on the side is irregularly shaped. It is normal on one side, and way too fucking short on the other, thus denying you the leverage you need after Thor the Mighty Electrician tightens the damn thing like he's going to save lives doing so.

In closing, fuck you Selecon.

A reminder- Summer Stock

2009-02-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

If you're worried about your job prospects this summer, check out my post on Summer Stock gigs from a while back. Competition will be stiff this year what with all the lay-offs recently. Get those applications in now.

Wanna be a Roadie?

2009-02-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

Is theatre not the gig for you? Too tame? Too gay?
Always dreamed of living in a smelly tour bus with six burly dudes, tweaking guitar strings pre-show and setting up drum kits? Here are a few helpful sites.

Road Crews Jobs
Roadie Jobs
Roadie.net

By the way, if you've never read Iggy Pop's tour rider, now is the time. You won't be disappointed.

An excerpt: "We had a lighting designer once, but he went mad so we shot him. It was the kindest thing. Now he's a light of a different kind, one of God's little gobos in dimmer heaven."

Sweet Internship

2009-01-28T16:18:00.000-08:00

Hey folks- I would take this is I were still going the career-intern route, but I need to get paid, son. But Basil Twist, a super-awesome puppeteer/performing artist, is seeking production interns. Check it out!

Cool New Things Coming...

2009-01-27T11:01:00.000-08:00

Wireless DMX: City Theatrical has recently been granted a patent for this. There's already a wireless RFU/DMX controller on the market.

Wireless electricity (no joke!): Scientists at MIT have developed "wi-tricity", using resonance and copper doo-dads, technically speaking.

Rigging

2009-01-25T20:54:00.001-08:00

Hey beginning rigger-types! Here's a simple but useful reference for gear, knots, and protocol.

...do YOU have favorite nerdy techie sites? Tell me about them!

The Academy Awards for More Technical Stuff

2009-01-25T20:36:00.000-08:00

So these are the nominees, in the more technical world of film. I wonder why there's never much concern for lighting design in film, especially when lighting can determine so much of a film's mood (fight club is one particularly gritty-feeling example).

I have not yet seen Australia, Button, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog, Duchess, or Wanted. Yeah, I live under a new-film rock. But I'm going to predict that Duchess gets the costume award (period pieces always fare better), Button gets make-up (for making Brad Pitt unattractive; see hoopla surrounding "The Hours"), and Dark Knight for the very vague "Visual Effects" category. I won't hazard a guess on the sound stuff, because unless the sound is incredibly unusual or bad, I never notice the editing or the mixing.

Achievement in Costume Design
* Australia
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Duchess
* Milk
* Revolutionary Road

Achievement in Makeup
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Dark Knight
* Frost/Nixon
* Milk
* Slumdog Millionaire

Achievement in Sound Editing
* The Dark Knight
* Iron Man
* Slumdog Millionaire
* WALL-E
* Wanted

Achievement in Sound Mixing
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Dark Knight
* Slumdog Millionaire
* WALL-E
* Wanted

Achievement in Visual Effects
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Dark Knight
* Iron Man

What are YOUR thoughts?
____________________________________________________________________

Hatred # 832:

2009-01-24T22:06:00.000-08:00

Par Can Retainer Rings:

What is it? It's a metal doohickey that holds the Par lamp in place.

Why does it blow? Because it's always too damn tight, often rusted in place, and makes life difficult when trying to focus.

Retainer rings, you are ON NOTICE.
____________________________________________________________________

Because You Said MacBeth

2009-01-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

This site linked to mine, and now I return the favor. Theater Jones is a website with theatre blogs, reviews, and stories. Check it out!
__________________________________________________________________

craigslist and freelancing

2009-01-22T16:35:00.000-08:00

Freelancing can be a bitch. I've done it quite a bit myself, and have been screwed over by a number of production companies. For the newbies- if you have a bad feeling about a company, demand 1/2 payment up front, and always send an invoice. Keep track of whom you've worked for, and how long it has taken to receive a paycheck. Harass any company that takes longer than a month, and never give up when somebody owes you. I've pestered some places for as long as five months for payment. Persistence is key.

On that note, there's a bunch of posts this week on New York City craigslist this week about places not to work for. They are mostly film production companies. Please note that I have no experience with any of the following, and don't shoot the messenger. This list includes names of places and people, and the poster's complaint against them.

Exile Ramirez (never paid poster)
Kreative Film Empire (never paid, bad working environment)
Peppermill Films (didn't pay total invoice)
Jackson Stone Media (didn't pay)
Wall Street Webcasting (unspecified)
Joey Vegas/Jeff Goldstein (low pay, bad treatment)
Team Omni (didn't pay, bad working environment)
Guardian Entertainment (vague complaint about manager)
Vid Arroyo (didn't pay)
Taxi Cab Productions (unspecified)
Real Savvy Media (low pay, inexperienced supervisors)
Animal Fair Magazine/dearlucky.com (unspecified)
Wendy's Diamonds (didn't pay)
Paris Multimedia (didn't pay)
Sonia Manzano (didn't pay)
Drop Squad Productions (didn't pay)
Nexpert News (didn't pay)
Tony Burton - (didn't pay after 6 months)
Jeff Jones - (pays too low and then tries to go back on his word_
Sasha Chesterton - (actually beat up an AD who tried to get blocking rehearsals)
Ian Moore and Matt Farneworth. (Didn't pay an entire Grip and Electric Crew.)
Creative Entertainment Group, who also go by the name Producers Advantage (don't pay)
Nick Knonopka, Mori Design. (didn't pay)
Morgan Dees of the Bronx (abuses his crew)
Splendor Video (Total deadbeats)
Crue Call staffing (bounced checks)
Ironbound Films (didn't pay)

In the interest of fairness, if you are on this list and feel you should not be, you're welcome to post explanations or defenses in the comments section.

Also, if you know of more shitty places to work, leave a comment!

Seriously!

2009-01-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

How many times does this have to happen before someone realizes that using a real gun onstage is fucking stupid?

The above picture shows a prop gun. With blanks. Pretty damn real-looking, no? So why use the real deal?

Also, how does someone agree to have a real gun pointed at them on stage?
Here's how that conversation would go with me:

Director: So here's your prop gun. It's real, so be careful. Oh, also, there are fucking bullets in it. Yes, that's right- I'm a fucktard. By the way, here's Tom, the pimply teenager who'll be aiming this at your fucking face.

Me: "......." (silently turning, walking to door, leaving, never coming back)

Obama and the Arts

2009-01-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

Click here to sign a probably-not-very-effective petition for Obama to create a "Secretary of the Arts" position in his Cabinet.

Simple Mathematics...

2009-01-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

...for the tragically un-educated.

Summer Stock

2009-01-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

The Intrepid Museum

2009-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to the Intrepid Museum, which is a museum aboard an aircraft carrier on the west side of Manhattan. It had some pretty cool stuff (nothing pre-1950, though) and some really awesome lighting and projection equipment as well. However, I doubt anyone has tweaked the lighting since the place opened, as there were multiple spots on walls illuminated for no apparent reason, and gobos haphazardly thrown about on jets and on the floor. A lot of lights must have blown their lamps out a while back, as well. In some spots track lighting (my arch-nemesis) was used to light signs and such...which is okay, I guess, except that there were tons of source fours not in use at all.
I'm a nerd, and everywhere I go, I notice the lighting and critique it, even when I myself could do no better. Have you ever been to the Palisades Mall in Jersey? There are instruments all up in that shit doing absolutely nothing! Also, and this reaaaaally bugs me- every time I go to a movie theatre lately, there's always one errant beam of light on the screen, usually from a badly focused houselight. I don't notice it once the movie is going, but sweet jesus, it irks me.

There was a projector shooting down on a map of the Intrepid. This projector was maybe three feet above the surface, and had at least a 4 foot by 5 foot throw. That's an insane lens. Also, there were touch-screen monitors which were hooked into whatever the projector was running off of, and they did some really cool stuff with that.

Dear Intrepid Museum....please let me come in and play with all your cool toys and fix your lighting.

Thanks.

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T13:20:00.000-08:00

This blogger has had a really busy holiday season. Apologies for the disappearance, to those who care.

The thing that comes to mind most today, having talked with family and friends about the economy, is the impact of the current crisis on our industry. A lot of my friends, arts-involved and non, are worried about job security right now. Theatres in New York are starting to downsize, and I wonder how far it will go. A friend argued that now is a good time to be a freelancer, as he believes that theatres will first cut their fulltime staff and rely on overhires. I disagree with this slightly- though full-timers are expensive due to benefit payments and such, overhires make more money per hour (the going rate in NYC for non-union techies is currently $20/hour). I think it is more likely that the overhire rate will decrease (it hasn't increased even for cost of living in the past five years as far as I know), and the current full-time staff members at most places will be worked harder in order to avoid using overhires.

Another friend of mine is in grad school at the moment, and I think that financially, that's the way to go. She's learning skills that will hopefully get her a job in two years, when the economy (hopefully) will have recovered slightly. And in the meantime, the job situation isn't so important for her.

Your thoughts?

The Importance of Good Rigging

2008-12-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

Click here.

A Favor

2008-12-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

Technical directors- when you put together the tech specs for your space(s), please make sure they are accurate. Don't tell me you have four vocal mics available when there are actually zero. Don't tell me you have a bass amp when said bass amp is not working. Don't tell me not to mess with your rep plot if there is in fact, no rep plot in place.

Thanks.

Freakin' Wybron

2008-12-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Wybron, as Stephen Colbert would say, you are ON NOTICE.

Wybron makes color scrollers. They like to deny that the power supply for their scrollers (aka "the brain"), can be defective, thus leading you to try at least 15 other time-consuming solutions, and keeping you on the phone for over an hour with the very patient and understanding ETC repair guy, whose product (despite having beer all up in its business) is NOT THE ONE FUCKING SHIT UP.

So folks, if you ever encounter an issue in which every time you hit any key on your express 250, all of your scrollers move, even though they have been working fine previously, don't call repair services until you have swapped out the brain. It's not "some weird ground loop", your board doesn't need repair, it's not the daisy-chained cxi, it's not the brand-new dmx.

Also on notice:
Scharff-Weissberg (for packing all heavy rental gear on top of light rental gear)
Selecon (for its falling-apart zooms)
KL Productions (for its 22-hour, one-break shifts)
NYC Fire Department (for always showing up at 8:05 for an inspection)

Blog Highlight: The Show Showdown and More

2008-12-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

So there's this group of three guys in NYC who go to see an absurd number of shows. I don't know if they have day jobs, or lives, but amongst themselves, they bloggishly publish over 400 reviews a year. Impressive, no?

Here's the link. Enjoy.

Also, some new techie blogs are sprouting up:

Technical Theatre
Another Blog titled "Technical Theater"
TD Tidbits

On Playwriting with Technical Issues in Mind

2008-12-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

So I'm writing this play about Elizabeth Bathory (pictured), which I had intended to be a 5-character, two-act, very produce-able play. It now features 8 characters and a scene calling for five doors. I don't know why, but putting up doors in a set has always irked me, work-wise. It's never as simple as it seems it will be, and getting it to stay up (especially if there aren't any flats attached) is a biatch.

I know that, sadly, a play with eight actors and five doors (written by an unknown playwright) will not be considered for production almost...anywhere. It's just a budget thing, nothing personal.

The purpose of the doors? I hate farce. I hate those door-slamming scenes from Moliere and Feydeau. See below: "A Flea in Her Ear". So many doors! Hilarity ensues! Yak.

So I wrote a scene in which every time a door opens, something traumatic happens, instead of something funny. I'm pretty attached to the idea, because I'm an asshole who likes to make fun of things that other people enjoy. So now I find myself trying to imagine a way of doing the scene sans doors.

Other than the doors, the entire play could be done on almost a bare stage. It's just this one damn scene...oh, and those three extra actors. Have you ever tried to get eight specific people together in one room at the same time in New York? Can't happen unless you plan it a year in advance (and offer alcohol).

You know it's time for a vacation when...

2008-12-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

...you find yourself having an inner debate about whether the color of the night sky is closer to R67 or R68.

A Very Big Eff You...

2008-12-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

...to whatever asshat, back in 1982, decided that there should be multiple (as many as 20!) circuits in the air for every 2.4k and 6k dimmer in my theatre.

More props to the jerkoff (probably the same person) who decided that our raceway circuits shouldn't follow any logical numeric order.

Prop Gun Kills Student

2008-12-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

Idiots give teen real gun for high school Oklahoma! performance.

Folks, never use a real fucking gun onstage. I don't care who you are, or how cool you might be. There are some really convincing fakes out there. No need to be an idiot about the whole thing.

From Backstagejobs

2008-12-02T11:07:00.000-08:00

Pet Peeves:
"Male stagehands that treat female stagehands as idiots: If you can do it, so can she. Or, as my wife likes to say: “If you’re able to do it, it can’t be that hard.” A box that normally needs 1 guy to move does not need 5 guys suddenly “helping” if 1 gal starts to move it. A female electrician is usually just as good, if not better, than her male counterparts."

Thanks, Patrick. This kinda shit makes me crazy. 99% of the dudes I work with are awesome and respectful. But every once in a while I run into the kind of tool who thinks I'm incapable of lifting a fresnel.
Also, while sometimes amusing, it's slightly offensive that every time some non-techie guy comes into the theatre and watches me working, I am called some variation of the word "beasty". Would you say the same to a guy my size doing what I do?

However, this kind of thing is more forgivable, if only because it's a recent development that more and more women are taking on physical "manly" jobs, and I guess some people are still honestly surprised to see that. It sort of reminds me of the story of my childhood friend, Nichole, seeing a black man for the first time and asking her mother why he was covered in mud. It was innocent, but still pretty damned offensive.

NYTimes Theatre Article

2008-12-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

Broadway Going Green

I guess it's a big trend. At my theatre, we just installed compact fluorescents in all of our overhead lighting ballasts. Now we just need to jump on that expensive LED bandwagon...a girl can dream.

Hatred # 983:

2008-12-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

The finger-pinching horrors of a shitty old mic stand.

Hatred #49:

2008-12-02T09:39:00.000-08:00

Steel deck flooring. Made to be installed by the Incredible Hulk and his Super Friends, this type of flooring will inevitably be installed by YOU, who couldn't take on small group of toddlers in a pudding fight.

Have fun with that. I'm gonna go ice my vertebrae now.

Whale Wars

2008-11-23T11:20:00.000-08:00

Anybody seen Whale Wars on Animal Planet? The show (basically) about pirates and dorks?

Does this dude, Peter Hammarstedt, not look like every nerdy techie you've ever worked with?

Columbus Circle

2008-11-23T11:13:00.001-08:00

I'm usually no big fan of holiday displays, having worked in a window display shop until my sanity could handle it no more (about eight weeks). However, the other day, while braving the crowds to buy some veggies at Whole Foods, I was stopped in my tracks by these:

These giant star-shaped lights are hanging from the ceiling inside the "Shops at Columbus Circle". They pulsate, glitter, change color, and practically made me wet myself with Christmas wonder. This picture doesn't do them justice. Big props to whomever created these wonderful, if corporate, ornaments.

Hatred #392:

2008-11-23T11:08:00.000-08:00

Running over my own toes with one of these:

Holy Delusions of Grandeur, Batman!

2008-11-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

dumb phrases

2008-11-17T18:05:00.000-08:00

A co-worker of mine absolutely loathes the term "courtesy tab". If you don't know, this is a fold you put on a piece of gaff tape so that whoever might strike it later can easily peel it up. This guy's beef is with the fact that there has to be a term for this thing at all. Why not say simply, "tab the tape", or some such?

Which got me thinking of theatre terminology that I hate, which includes the following:

Dimmer Beach (the title of one of my posts below). This is one of those phrases used mostly by really nerdy technicians who think it makes the dimmer room sound cool, when actually it's a mess of gross cables and despair.

Nope. That's pretty much it. Just "dimmer beach". Maybe because the first person I heard utter it had a gross scraggly ponytail and a penchant for message t-shirts.

things fall apart

2008-11-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

So, the theatre I work in likes to fall apart. It particularly enjoys doing so the day of a load-in. Circuits fry, lighting instruments die inexplicably, and I myself shed a bit of dignity while unsuccessfully attempting to hold in sighs of frustration.

We had twelve 8-inch fresnels before this summer. As of today, we are down to nine. They don't break in a way that they could be salvageable, no. The fucking porcelain lamp seat fuses to other things and then breaks off. The reflectors melt into funny shapes. In short, they are old and decrepit.

When a light won't work, it can't just be a bad lamp. Of course not. You must have a bad lamp, a bad cable, AND a bad end cap all at once! And then the second unit you lug up on the ladder will ALSO have a bad end cap. But also, you were in "patch" on the board, you lameberg. Your day is SO awesome. You are really good at making things work.

So you'll toss everything in a big pile labeled NFG and hope that it will disappear before you ever need to repair it.

And why in the world are there eight versions of our rep plot (some from the early 90's) floating around amongst NYC designers? It feels like a bad joke.

I'm tired and cranky, and in about an hour, I get to hop on a train full of annoying people and not have enough room even to cross my legs. What I'm sayin' is, if you're lucky enough to glimpse me in the next coupla hours, you're gonna see some bitches* feel my wrath.

*And by bitches, I mean anyone, male or female, who: can't walk in a straight line, repeatedly jostles me while singing along to Oochie Wallie on a cellphone, talks about their awesome new tv addiction, or generally breathes in my direction.

Dimmer Beach

2008-11-13T05:14:00.000-08:00

For the past two days at my theatre, I've been having a very slow heart attack. One of our 96 racks was intermittently deciding not to work, at all. It seemed particularly averse to working late nights (understandably). As we have a show opening tonight (which I'm designing lighting for), this was cause for concern. Half my systems weren't working, and I had no house lights. For hours, I looked at this CD-80 rack, frowning, and fucking with cables, and taking out cards, noting, nervously, that it was built in 1981. At least five people looked at this mess and shrugged.

The rack was on, and it was not communicating with the light board. Our other 96-rack was working just fine. So last night, I called my buddy Michael, who's very good with these types of things. He had me trace all the cables back, check out the opto splitter, and...the lights on the splitter were not on. Which meant that it wasn't getting power. Tracing the power cable back to its source, I found that it was hooked into the same circuit as our amps, which get shut down by our sound tech at the circuit breakers. So when the sound tech leaves, our CD-80 rack went bye-bye. The other rack still worked because it was plugged into the pass-through on the opto, which doesn't require power.

I guess the moral is: when in doubt, it's the dumbest, simplest possible solution you can think of.

Hatred #2,343:

2008-11-08T18:42:00.000-08:00

Aircraft cable slivers and/or rashes.

Hatred #462:

2008-11-08T18:41:00.001-08:00

That nasty cloud of flameproofing shit that fogs up your face and gags you when you touch the soft goods.

Soft Goods

2008-11-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

Is it only in New York, or is nobody using legs/grand rags/cycs/scrim anymore? Are they no longer en vogue?

Almost everyone who enters the theatre that I work at falls in love with the black brick walls. So industrial, they say. So minimalist. Why would anyone want to cover them with drapery?

It makes my job easier, so I can't complain. But I do wonder if it's just another trend, like experimental video in dance.

Production Internship, NYC!

2008-11-06T15:05:00.002-08:00

Click here for an opportunity to work with yours truly! That's right, it's a technical theatre internship (catch that, Google?) Also known as a "production internship", or "serfdom".

Benefits include:

-Lessons in mopping, tying knots, and eating on the fly

-Your own personal headset for shows(!)

-A sense of deep shame at the end of a day (depending on amount of bodily fluids on stage)

-Knowledge of all types of oldschool equipment, including but not limited to: Altmans, Selecon zooms, overhead projectors (remember those?), 40mm projectors (and those?), "CD players", and UpRight lift (circa 1988).

But seriously, it'll be cool and whatnot. You'll work with a great variety of people, make a lot of new friends, and gain valuable contacts to start your career.

There. So if you're a theatre grad with a bit of tech experience, apply.

If Obama Wins...

2008-11-04T06:56:00.001-08:00

...what will all those angry playwrights rant about for the next four years?

Hatred # 221:

2008-11-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Gaff tape that's so hard to rip that your thumb hurts at the end of the day.

Making Bad Lighting Work

2008-10-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Every so often, in my technical career, I'm asked to deal with shitty lights. It happens. It just so happens that this week, it's track lighting. I can't describe the emotional issues I have with track lighting, but they begin with the fact that you can't put each light on a separate channel. That, and most track lights are expensive and look like hell. The hot spot is up at the top, the units themselves get unbearably hot after about 30 seconds, and they break when you sneeze. To work with track lighting for a day is to feel pain. At some point, the part of you that wanted to make the whole thing look nice succumbs to the part of you that has a raging, aneurysm-style headache.

And then you can design comfortably. So, in closing, if you can just skip that whole "I want this to look great" phase, you'll have an all-right day.

Hatred #4,852:

2008-10-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Witnessing subway conversations about acting, theatre or both.

Just read your stupid newspaper and avoid eye contact like all the other good riders.

Thanks.

Nightmarish People

2008-10-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

In the day-to-day life of a NYC techie, he or she will encounter many new people, mostly artists and their friends, but also the occasional lighting designer or touring audio tech, what-have-you. It is great meeting most of these people, whose names will leave your memory shortly after they themselves leave your theatre. However, there is a special breed of folks that will burn an everlasting impression into your psyche, such that the mention of their name will bring up in your trachea the aromatic essence of your last meal (wasabi peas? really?).

I was talking with a couple of friends/co-workers about one of these special people last night. She is mentioned in another post of mine, albeit not by name. That's the tricky part of this blog. Anywho, we were talking about this woman, a lighting designer, who is easily the most horrifying designer I've ever worked with. And the conversation then turned to another jerk we'd worked for, who was much more bearable, but a jerk nonetheless. My friend said in these cases it is best to adopt an "okay, whatever" policy and basically turn your brain off, so that nothing this person says will affect you emotionally- you remain stoic, leave work later, and drink yourself to sleep or something. Sometimes that's not possible (such as when the designer has a nails-on-chalkboard kinda voice), but sometimes it really works.

Sometimes you'll work with a little-known artist who demands rock-star treatment, and hey, I guess you can't blame him/her, because starving for art sucks, so why not get a little respect and free booze before you go home to your shitty roach-infested Bushwick half-closet?

Regardless, I guess it's important to remember that you will most likely work with this person again, since NYC theatre is a small world after all. That's the sad part. There are some wonderful people that I have worked with only once; the horrible people are the ones who seem to keep coming back for more. Maybe the good ones all move onward and upward? Don't know.

It's also good to remember that as awful as some people may be, they may give you jobs in the future. If you miss out on some awesome touring gig in Asia because you mouthed off to a director, you will be sad. And here's where the arts get really fake, which I hate. But it's a balance of integrity versus income, and in the world of struggling twenty- and thirty-somethings, I think income mostly has to win that battle.

NYTimes Lighting Design Article

2008-10-13T18:28:00.001-07:00

It's a bit late, as this was published in May, but check out this article.

Joe Levasseur, a great NYC designer, Bessie winner and all-around good guy, is quoted at the end.

Another Blog

2008-10-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

While searching interwebbily for a picture of an old Strand lighting console I came across at the Kitchen the other day, I stumbled upon this blog, by lighting designer Clifton Taylor. It's very informative and full of lighting design nerdery, like how to create a REM DIM macro.

Enjoy.

Skills not taught in school

2008-10-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

I blogged about this a while back on MySpace, but the list has grown since then. These are things that every theatre technician should know before setting out into the world of the performing arts:

1. How to clean up fake and/or real blood, human or non, from a variety of surfaces, including but not limited to marley, RP screens, costumes, and masonite.

2. How, tactfully, to ask whether or not your wireless mics will be rubbed against a naked vagina.

3. How to mediate a physical fight between actors, two of whom are wearing girdles, one of whom has his balls hanging out of said girdle.

4. How to zip a sweaty naked dancer into a broken fried chicken costume.

5. What the laws are regarding dripping, raw meat on stage.

6. The tenacity of Pepto Bismol.

7. How to use prosthetic adhesive to stop boob slippage.

8. How old is that Genie, and how many times has it tipped over, and/or killed/maimed someone? Use the Genie accordingly.

9. How to clean up horse shit, month-old beer spills, and smushed candy from a stage floor.

10. How to keep sane while hanging a light next to a blaring speaker.

11. How to keep a straight face while someone uses a wireless mic that was once rubbed against a naked vagina.

12. How best to hold onto the grid while your Genie is tipping over.

13. How good is your ventilation system? Use hazers/foggers accordingly.

14. How to keep your cool when the fire marshal shows up with four fully-geared firemen for a simple routine inspection.

15. How to explain to drunken non-English speakers where the bathroom is.

Exhaustion and Shoes

2008-10-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

At the ripe old age of 26, this blogger has had tendonitis for five years, and is beginning to develop aches and pains associated with the ladder-climbing and heavy lifting that is inherent to most production work. What's a girl to do?

I should probably invest in a pair of these:

And always wear these:

And one of these:

While I'm at it, why not throw in one of those sexy hard-hats in case of falling Altmans:

Now, while I do what some might consider to be a more masculine job, and while I am totally down with feminism, I am perhaps (deep down), one of the girliest girls I know. I love the color pink. I like to get my nails painted and my hair did. I enjoy dressing up, and shaving my legs. In short, I like to look like a girl. And it doesn't help me that all of the above items have the sex appeal of Richard Simmons.

For you female technicians out there, here are some items that will reward you with the scorn and contempt of your co-workers, and my deep admiration (however, don't wear all these together, so as to avoid looking like a bottle of Pepto):

Now, as to that all-important back-support:

The Glass Ceiling

2008-09-19T08:13:00.001-07:00

Perhaps not tech-related, but my playwright friends may appreciate this article.

The comments below the article are infuriating.

Feel Like a Tool

2008-09-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Click HERE.

Dibden Thearter Program: blowing minds in the right direction

2008-09-17T07:32:00.000-07:00