On Playwriting with Technical Issues in Mind

So I'm writing this play about Elizabeth Bathory (pictured), which I had intended to be a 5-character, two-act, very produce-able play. It now features 8 characters and a scene calling for five doors. I don't know why, but putting up doors in a set has always irked me, work-wise. It's never as simple as it seems it will be, and getting it to stay up (especially if there aren't any flats attached) is a biatch.

I know that, sadly, a play with eight actors and five doors (written by an unknown playwright) will not be considered for production almost...anywhere. It's just a budget thing, nothing personal.

The purpose of the doors? I hate farce. I hate those door-slamming scenes from Moliere and Feydeau. See below: "A Flea in Her Ear". So many doors! Hilarity ensues! Yak.


So I wrote a scene in which every time a door opens, something traumatic happens, instead of something funny. I'm pretty attached to the idea, because I'm an asshole who likes to make fun of things that other people enjoy. So now I find myself trying to imagine a way of doing the scene sans doors.

Other than the doors, the entire play could be done on almost a bare stage. It's just this one damn scene...oh, and those three extra actors. Have you ever tried to get eight specific people together in one room at the same time in New York? Can't happen unless you plan it a year in advance (and offer alcohol).