Hatred # 7:

Selecon Pacific Zooms.



You folks who have worked with me know what these are. For those of you lucky folks who work in a theatre renovated within the past 30 years, let me explain this beast. It's the shitty generic version of a Source Four Zoom, and made entirely of plastic. The quality of light it gives isn't bad. However, the fact that the shutters fall out on a whim, all the time, really sucks. As does the fact that the red part, while looking sort of like a handle, will cause the entire endcap to come off if you actually use it as a handle.

Now, when the shutters randomly fall out (and I've seen this happen during dress rehearsals and other times when least expected), you cannot put them back in without taking apart the entire instrument. You'd think, well it came OUT of that slot, so it should fit back IN, but no. These are Satan's tools, and they act accordingly.



As you can see from this image, the tilt knob on the side is irregularly shaped. It is normal on one side, and way too fucking short on the other, thus denying you the leverage you need after Thor the Mighty Electrician tightens the damn thing like he's going to save lives doing so.

In closing, fuck you Selecon.

A reminder- Summer Stock

If you're worried about your job prospects this summer, check out my post on Summer Stock gigs from a while back. Competition will be stiff this year what with all the lay-offs recently. Get those applications in now.

Wanna be a Roadie?

Is theatre not the gig for you? Too tame? Too gay?
Always dreamed of living in a smelly tour bus with six burly dudes, tweaking guitar strings pre-show and setting up drum kits? Here are a few helpful sites.

Road Crews Jobs
Roadie Jobs
Roadie.net

By the way, if you've never read Iggy Pop's tour rider, now is the time. You won't be disappointed.

An excerpt: "We had a lighting designer once, but he went mad so we shot him. It was the kindest thing. Now he's a light of a different kind, one of God's little gobos in dimmer heaven."